What the H, Mario?!

I have a problem.

Okay, I have many problems, but at the moment, I have one specific problem that is gnawing on my brain and irritating me. It's been poking and prodding at me for the last few days, so the only logical way to deal with it is to write a blog post, right?

Right.

Anyway, my problem has to do with sports. Or more specifically, youth sports. Now, I will admit that the extent of my sports experience is limited to cross-country and cheerleading, and even then, there aren't too many rules regarding both. But, in Ryan and Jeff's cases, their sports have long lists of the do's and don'ts which should always be followed for safety's sake and fairness of the game.

When the Crack Monkeys first started getting involved with sports, we always made sure they had a general idea of what the rules were, and if they didn't, we'd teach them. We've lucked out in that sense with great coaches in both the past and present, coaches who hold their players to fair play and obedience to the rules.

My problem is with coaches, players, and even parents who don't.

Case in point, Jeff had his first soccer game of the season this past Saturday. I've already mentioned we've been with his coach for the last three seasons. This is a man who loves soccer, knows the rules, and values little kids having fun while learning how to play. At every practice, he'll go over the basics and show the kids the proper way to kick the ball and defend their goal. His own son is on the team, which makes his goal to teach the kids all the more important to him.

The coach for the other team seems like a nice guy, but he didn't seem to be present at the game. And, what I mean by that is he wasn't on the sidelines encouraging the kids or even correcting them when they did something they clearly weren't supposed to. Granted, these are 7- and 8- yr. olds, and they're bound to make mistakes or do something on accident. This wasn't the case, as I very clearly heard the parents' of these kids encourage them to do things that are against the rules.

One boy's parents were yelling at him to knock down our players, and another's dad kept telling him to slide-tackle. Now, I know slide-tackling isn't illegal, but even in professional soccer, referees discourage it because of safety issues. And this kid clearly didn't know how to do it properly.

The parents I sat next to were from the other team, and you could tell that the dad was a soccer enthusiast. The only problem was, his son wasn't living up to his expectations and every move the kid made just seemed to infuriate his dad because he wasn't moving fast enough or he didn't kick the ball the right way.

Sad.

I usually try to ignore this kind of behavior by telling myself Jeff is enjoying himself, and that's all that mattters. But, Ryan had a lacrosse game yesterday, and the same situation presented itself, and with it being just days after Jeff's game, my nerves were a bit frazzled.

Ryan plays on the JV team for his high school; this team is made up of mostly Freshmen like him, which puts them at a disadvantage, size and strength wise. Since the season has started, they've faced much bigger players, which Ryan considers a learning opportunity. However, some of these teams have proven to be immature and arrogant on the pitch, and after attending these games, it's not hard to see why.

I've seen coaches taunt our players as they run by, I've seen parents bully our players and their parents during and after the games, and there are too many instances to count where an opposing player took trash talking too far. I'm not saying our players don't trash talk, but that's all it is, trash talk; they've never made it physical, unless physically provoked. The coaches have always told Ryan and his teammates to take care of business on the field, which is proper.

Yesterday's game, there was all of the above mentioned, plus deliberate illegal plays that were ignored by the refs. The refs were inconsistent throughout the game, and most of their calls were questionable. They lost control of the game from the very start, which put the players' safety in danger by allowing certain things to go unchallenged.

Long story short, fights on the field as well as on the sidelines almost broke out. The mother of one of our players had had it with a dad from the opposing team who had made it his mission to be obnoxious from the get go, and she moved to confront him. Meanwhile, two of our players were taken down with some illegal moves, then taunted, but the refs were able to intervene quick enough.

As much as this was a disappointing game for Ryan and his teammates, what appalled me was the attitudes of the parents afterwards. There were passive-aggressive comments thrown out and cursing, all in front of the players. In what universe, is this kind of behavior acceptable? As parents, we are the adults, we are the example, which our kids learn by. Why would you want to teach your kid that aggressive behavior, whether peer-to-peer or adult-to-child, is acceptable?

It's difficult to teach my child that playing fair matters, especially when he sees that not doing so wins games. It's disheartening for me to hear how disappointed and frustrated he is after these kinds of games, knowing he played his best and by the rules, and was still thumped.

And, all I can tell him is that he can hold his head up high and be proud that he chose to do the right thing even though it would have been easy to stoop to their level. I've tried to reiterate the fact that his team, while with a less impressive record, will ultimately be known as a good, fair team that plays hard, but opponents like these will most likely be dogged with less than stellar reputations on how they play.

It isn't much, but it's all I can think of to try and comfort him and myself. And, right at this moment, it sucks.